I cringe when I hear statements like this:
“I’m a bad person for thinking that.”
“I’m so stupid!”
Someone offers a compliment to someone else and the person replies, “Oh, this ol’ thing? I look so fat in it, but I wear it anyway,” rather than just saying, “Thank you.”
These are lies.
Dirty, nasty, hurtful lies.
But they don’t just hurt the person who’s saying them. Those negative comments are hurting everyone around them, especially our different-brained friends who already struggle with self-hatred.
Why is negative self-talk hurtful to others and our autism spectrum family members?
Because modeled behavior is incredibly powerful, especially for children. Our young friends mimic the adults around them and autism-spectrum kids struggle with the whole “How do I act so people don’t shun me?” anyway.
Soooo . . . negative self-talk that happens in front of our children literally teaches them that putting themselves down is appropriate and a thing that is totally normal and OK to do. And who wants that, man? “Not me,” said the flea. “Not I,” said the fly.
Would you like a gorgeous explanation of this? Read The Four Agreements . . . it’s one of the books that changed my life.
I’m inviting you to speak kindly to yourself . . . especially if you’re in front of your children.
Positive self-talk takes work. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes effort. Just like most things in life, it ain’t easy–but it sure is worth it.
I believe learning positive self-talk is the one lesson our children can take into their lives and use to spread the cheery-cheery’s to themselves and, thus, the rest of our world.
You are amazing,
Here’s a great video with two parenting lessons that I have touched on and will continue to weave into my daily lives with my children.
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