Today you get to win points just by reading this article, being a mom (or dad!), and answering a few parent-ranking questions. With your points you can learn why you are so amazing!
My husband started this whole thing on Mother’s Day (you can totally blame him if you don’t want to take this questionnaire; I’m simply the messenger and I’d love it if you wouldn’t shoot the messenger).
I suspect we all secretly want to know how we’re doing . . . Like, how do I rank in this whole “Mommy/Daddy” business? There’s no scale that I know of that says, “I’m doing a good job . . . Or not.”
I think some people go by their child’s grades or the number of activities their children are involved with and are actually good at. That’s definitely not how I gauge the whole thing because I think those things can be detrimental in some, if not many, ways.
I suppose I would rank my Mommy-Scale by how happy my child is (or at least seems), whether they’re capable of meeting and hanging out with new people, how confident they are when trying new things, how much I’m yelling (more points if I’m calm and casual), and stuff like that.
Who knows really? Hopefully, we’re all doing the best that we can and know how to do, all the while learning what we need to learn and that’s about that.
I’m excited to share the following questions (with point values attached even!) that my husband asked me on Mother’s Day. I’ve added the point system. He didn’t give me any points now that I think about it. You’re welcome for the points, cuz points are like #winning.
OK, here goes for your Mommy/Daddy ranking . . . Good luck!
- Are you reading this email?
50 points if you are! You’re doing great so far!
- What’s one time you remember totally screwing up as a parent?
100 points if you readily and willingly admitted one event.
125 points if your initial reaction was “GASP! Me? Do something wrong as a mother? Never. This question does not pertain to me.”
- What’s one time you KNOW without a doubt you would totally have won “Mother of the Year” award?
400 points for every time you think of.
- What are your most favorite things about being a mom? This is a real-life job, and the pay kinda sucks, but there are amazing benefits. I’m sure of it.
45 points for every thing you think of that you love about being a mom. (The max amount of points you can earn for this question is 1,022.)
- What are the hardest things for you about being a mom (cuz we’re all different and you know that we all have our quirks)?
300 points just for reading this question and thinking about the answer.
700 points if you walk away in disgust (YOU WIN btw!).
55 points for every thing you think of that’s difficult about being a parent (max points for this question is 2,108).
- Think of things you positively adore about each of your kids.
10 chocolate badges for each thing you think about for “each” kid (you can replace this with coffee or sweet tea as needed).
- Think of one reason you might want to throw your child out the window. People–relax, it’s not a for-real question (mostly/kinda/it really is). Unless you already have done that for real. Then you get like 1,000 points for admitting it and then message me on Facebook so we can get some help for you ASAP. #dontthrowyourkidsoutthewindowcuzthatsbadmkay
200 points for just admitting that maybe you thought of this one time. 2 points if you think of a reason.
- What are two things you’d share with people who do not have kids but want them?
No points awarded for this question. You get to “level up” (please make this part up any way you’d like!).
- Name one thing (or more if you’re a total overachiever) you’d say to someone that wants to have kids actually encouraging them to do so.
50 points for the first answer and 60 points for any additional “overachiever” encouragements.
Congratulations! You did it! You’re done and here’s the ranking:
0 – 305 points: You are a rock star parent and your kids are lucky you’re alive and you had them so they could hang out with you through their childhood and hopefully adult lives.
306-309: You totally didn’t count your points correctly because I’m pretty sure this is impossible based on the point system as indicated above, which means you are like a TOTAL magician-badass-rockstar-wizard type. Your kids are more lucky to have you as a parent than they can imagine.
310 – 550: You are amazing and the world is a better place with you in it! ROCKON!
551 – 1,010: Yes to you and yes to all you do for your kids and the things you do and want to do for them!
1,044 – 2,000: OMG–You GO with your amazing self and the work you’re doing for your family, and our world, and yourself, and your kids. Repeat.
2,001+: You’re to the moon phenomenal and you’re invited to do a funky dance for the rest of the day!
Thank you for completing this very important questionnaire. If you took the time to read this and think about the answers, I suspect you’ll find some real wonder and awe for the job you have as a parent. You have done so many things so right and I truly hope you highlight those for yourself and remember that each day.
I also hope you strive to win points each day by being a “real” parent with “real” mistakes and “real” victories and “real” moments. These are the times, when you are awesomely you, that your children continue to be connected, continue to learn how to do this crazy thing we call life, and how to get through each and every moment that will be presented to them.
Our different-brained kids may learn differently, they may think differently, but I fully believe that modeled behavior is one of the Top Three ways that all human beings learn to be human beings.
Let’s go out there and model the behavior we want our children to take into their own lives . . . to make their world a better place for all of us.
So much love,
Note: Please tell me how incredibly painful that picture of me is. Major eyeroll. I used it anyway cuz that’s how I roll.
Note again: Meet me on Facebook cuz I totally want to know some of your answers!
Note Note Note: If you want to share something that is troubling you about raising/teaching/hanging out with a different-brained human being, let me know. I’m glad to help if I can.