Why We Need to Say Nice Things (Examples Included)
We need kind words in our world. I’m pretty sure this is an agreed upon fact.
Words still work with our nonverbal children. I just finished reading I Am Intelligent and words are so important, even with those of us who don’t speak words.
We need kind words because some of our children don’t understand anything outside of our analytical words. Subtleties are lost on them so direct kind language is the ticket.
Kind words are imperative because we are all human beings and it’s pretty clear that we want to feel connected, cherished, loved, valuable, and important.
We need kind words because it’s worth the time and effort it takes to make every member of our tribe feel valued, regardless of what they express to us. Y’all know how difficult this can be with Aspie’s. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, ask me and I’ll try to describe it.
Here are some things I work hard to remember to say to Michael … and everyone in my family.
“Do you know how happy I am that you’re my son?”
“Michael (because saying their name is so important), I love you sooooo much! I hope you know it and can feel it as much as I can.”
“I really enjoyed being with you today.”
“I love you so much, Michael.”
“I’m very glad I get to be your mom. I hope you like being my son.”
“It’s so great to see you work hard at your Lego tower (or whatever they’re building or doing that is intense for them).”
After a trauma, you might say, “That was really difficult for you. It was difficult for me as well. Here’s what I know in this moment. I know that you’re okay. I know that I’m okay. I know we’ll need some time to move through this and heal from it. Right now, we’re okay and we will be okay.” We need to know this even if it doesn’t feel like it at all.
“I love you.”
“I love that you are so helpful. Thank you for packing your lunch before bed.”
Because kindness totally matters. It really does.
Be kind today, to yourself, to your family.
With love,
Mica
I’d love to see your kind words over on Facebook!
