I highly recommend you read this post first to find out where our Question-of-the-Night originated. We’ve had a question of the night for well over a decade and it’s still going strong.
Why? What is the purpose of the question of the night?
It’s our time to wind down. It’s a tradition we started for specific reasons and it has simply never stopped. Mostly, it’s our time to connect before we sleep.
It’s a time where we all have to listen quietly as each person shares their answer and their thoughts. It’s our guaranteed, depended upon time for our community.
It’s the one time each day we know we’ll be together.
Below you’ll find a list of 44 questions I’ve asked my kids throughout the years.
I hope you’d like to try this tradition for your family if you don’t have a daily check-in routine already in place. Or you might want to have fun reading through the questions for your own self-exploration.
*Note: I do have three bits of criteria I’ll share after the list to keep the questions “safe before bedtime.”
44 Questions to Ask Before Bed
- What color did you feel today and what was the emotion that felt that way?
- What animal would you want to be right now in this moment?
- Name three things you’re grateful for in this moment. *Note: I do quite a bit of “in this moment” because tonight’s answer will most likely differ from tomorrow night’s answer.
- Imagine someone delivers a package to the front door right now and it is addressed to you. When you opened it up, you almost couldn’t contain your excitement and joy. What would be in the box?
- If you could plan a full dinner for tomorrow night including dessert, what would you have?
- In this moment, what would you like to be when you grow up?
- If time stopped but you could travel to any place on Earth with no restrictions of any kind, where would you go and why?
- If you were to paint a painting right now, what would you want to paint?
- You just finished writing an amazing book that lots of people want to read. What’s it about and who is the main character?
- What two things do people love most about you?
- Think of your favorite book series right now. What’s your favorite part about it? Would you want to write a series like it? If so, what would the subject be?
- If you could name a planet right now, what would you name it?
- Where do you feel safest? What does it feel like? Where is it?
- If you could design a quilt for yourself right now, what colors and pattern would it be?
- Aside from water (you’d get water), what one drink would you choose if you could only choose one other drink?
- In this moment, what is your first thought when I say, “Favorite Movie.”
- Let’s make a poem tonight. (Michael always starts because of the whole “first thing,” so he starts with one line and then we follow suit. J)
- If you were a cat right now, what color would you be and what would your personality be like?
- If you could live anywhere, and I mean ANYWHERE, where would you live? Examples include living in the mountains, under the water, at the beach, in space, in the sky, on top of a tree, in a mouse hole, etc.
- An invitation arrives in the mail for you and a guest and you’re absolutely thrilled about it. Where are you invited to go and who are you taking?
- What is your favorite outfit in your closet right now?
- You’re able to have dinner with one famous person you admire (yes, they can be dead and you can go back in time when they were alive). Who would you have dinner with and what would you want to talk about?
- Who is your favorite artist in this moment? Why?
- Say you could have any animal for a pet. What animal would it be and what would you name it?
- Name two things you love about the person to your right.
- What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
- If you have a soundtrack for your day, what would the name of the title song be?
- What family member that is outside of this house do you want to send love to? Name two things you love about them.
- Where on the globe would you go to live for the next year if you were going on an assignment?
- Name three words you love the sound of and the meaning of.
- If you were like a fruit, what fruit would you be?
- What is your favorite time of day and favorite season of the year? Why?
- This one I ask the most, especially when we’ve been separated for the weekend. HIGH/LOW – PIKE/PEAK – ZENITH/NADIR What was the best part of your day and what was the worst part of your day?
- What tool would you want to invent right now? What would it do?
- What is your favorite part of the house to be in?
- How have you helped someone in the last week?
- How has someone other than me helped you in the last week? Do you remember how you felt?
- What is something you don’t know that you want to learn about?
- If we were all handed $1,000 right now in cash, what would you do with the money if you had to spend it by tomorrow night?
- What are the three most important material items you have right now?
- What do you think other people would say is the animal you are most like overall?
- Name three things you are really great at.
- If you could start collecting something new right now, what would you want to collect?
- What do you love about being you?
*Important criteria—I think for the safety of dreams, nighttime wellbeing, and overall healthy intention, I follow these guidelines:
- I make sure the questions do not focus on fears, stressors, or discomfort as much as possible. I want the sharing to be positive and connective for the entire family.
- I work hard to ensure that there is no judgment toward others, either in the room or outside of the room. You’ll notice questions or requests like, “Name two things you love about the person to your right.” I would not say, “Name three things the person to your left could improve upon.” I think that might end in a brawl, definitely tears at the least. I always want to make sure we’re working toward the goal to unite, not divide.
- I also work hard to make it appropriate and poignant to the moment and the evening. If we had an event that night, I typically ask their favorite part of it.
- And as we’re all well aware, large emotions and events can happen with these different-brained children so we are often dealing with family stress, hurt, or anger (or all of those combined). I might share something like the following, “The truth of tonight is that we’re all a bit hurting or scared or we might be feeling broken. That makes perfect sense for each one of us. Tonight was difficult. It was loud. I know that I thought it was scary during certain moments. I’d like everyone to share one way they feel that we could heal as a family. Or you can share a way you can think of to reconnect to yourself first and then to our family as a whole.” Group consciousness is a very, very powerful thing and these are the moments that really show the breadth of a family. This sharing allows us to continue to connect in a loving and intentional way with each other every night before we rest.
Thanks for being you,
I’d love for you to join me on Facebook to share more questions you would like to offer or answers to some of the questions above.
Book reviews coming up soon (all of which I highly recommend—affiliate links if you want to help support my book addiction):
Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela
All Cats Have Asperger’s Syndrome by Kathy Hoopman
I Am Intelligent by Dianne Goddard