It was an overstimulating Halloween function. Michael was doing his talk at everyone thing, but I wasn’t monitoring him like I normally do. I say things such as, “Michael, ask them about their holiday plans” after he spouts all he is going to do and then turns and leaves. No “Excuse me.” No “Hello, my name is Michael. Could I share something with you?” No, “Thanks for listening.” Just conversation blasts at anyone in the room and then a swift departure.
Tonight, I was tending to my other son’s needs. He was dressed in a full purple bodysuit and kept bumping into small children because it was too hard to see through. He was so totally awesome looking and we really had a great time.
At one point, Michael rushed over to tell me something. It came out something like this: “Mommy, this place is great. Nobody knows me and they’re not treating me like I have Asperger’s or even OCD!”
Stunned silence.
Which was OK, because he was already gone.
Shattered heart.
Introspection.
I’m erasing my board tomorrow. My life’s chalk board. I’m not doing something right, so tomorrow I will erase my chalk board and write a new sentence over and over. I think what’s on the board right now is “I will be productive and make sure everything gets done.” “I will be productive and make sure everything gets done.”
Tomorrow, though, I hope to erase that and write something like: “Michael and Mason are the most important people in my life, besides myself, and I honor and cherish them everyday. And then I get stuff done that needs doin’.” “Michael and Mason are the most important people in my life, besides myself, and I honor and cherish them everyday. And then I get stuff done that needs doin’.” “Michael and Mason are the most important people in my life, besides myself, and I honor and cherish them everyday. And then I get stuff done that needs doin’.” “Michael and Mason are the most important people in my life, besides myself, and I honor and cherish them everyday. And then I get stuff done that needs doin’.”
Because that’s what really needs doin’.
I love the way you wrote about your son’s “conversation blasts and swift departures.” My boy does the same thing!
We are allies for sure. 🙂 Thank you for reading and commenting.